herein lies the truth about love.
poet. bassist. bronx. manic. limitless.
herein lies the truth about love.
poet. bassist. bronx. manic. limitless.
i understand now
i was discarded
been
but i fought to be relevant trash
i want to be in your world
but i miss us
i miss the hurt
the shame
the raging
the sex
the abuse
cause that’s us
more you than me
but still desirable
like me
i deserved you
the way you showed me
not like this
not this empty
urges
I’ve thought of you
on misty days
remembering your smell
and never daring to say your name
will he say mine?
i know you do
hate me too
though i love you
I’m your lovefool
your sex addict
your sin
and you’re working hard babe
working on me
breaking me
forcing me away
but i know you’ll come back
so broken, tired and all
I’ll stay
Normally I would say that you’ve taken a part of me that matters the most
The part never available to myself,
The part where I love you up to your best
While you send me to the hell of your rejection and suffering
as a thank you
but this is not normal
the pain is unusual and my heart fails to heal again
I’ve seen and done too much
too late
trauma porn
he cut through me with ease
like an exacto knife through tape
more like sinking soap through my
slick and mucky past
it wasn’t so much precision
but the push of slower force
not the way life leaks out of you flooding
the air with your energy
when you take a bullet
no,
that’s too easy
much like relief
here, you’ve laid me down to suffer
to show me how much you never cared
i knew i don’t matter much to me
but you were a holographic future
a show my eyes can’t unsee
weeping shards of shimmering glass
i fought to look away
in disbelief that i could be your sacrifice
the way you show them you’re ruthless
you sure showed them, babe
that there’s no cost higher than yourselves
nothing my love could cure
you’re paramount to me eternally
even as i slide out of your concern
loudly, consciously
i don’t know when,
but I know you pretended your sorry
now that i know
you only care now
because you’ve fled your shell
to find another hiding place for your lies
the light exposed us
it shows you gutting me
while i stretch out my arms
to love you even more now
afterbirth
I took your advice
I took time to come up for air,
And smell the roses.
You have no idea what you’re talking about
I’m so proud that you’re free to see the beauty in these simple things
Because even now, and seemingly forever I have lost my way,
Longing to smell fresh air, praying for the deepest breath I need
But that relief never comes,
And my sighs become moans of pain
Crowned in thorns of bitterness
conflict is my love language…
I feel like I’ve been fighting all my life for you
I know I said I would die for you, but these days I wonder if that’s true
Through it all I stayed, knowing that you’d be worth every scar, every pain
But the more I put it off, some more I realize you’re exactly the same
You’re everything you said you wouldn’t be, and nothing I ever dreamed of
My resentment for you grows every day, but I can’t gather the strength to leave, I’m held down by love
Voided of trust, entangled in lust, enraged and seemingly nonplussed, but I said it’s love
It’s not worth very much now to have you around me
For every time I pick up the pieces and put them back together, you strike relentlessly
Breaking me into a million pieces, abusing my need to read pair and undo
Laboring for love is a lie, it’s a hack job breaking me down but rewarding to you
Once I was sorry, I blamed myself for everything but now I see the truth
You’ve never thought about me, and you never will. And I wish I could hold back my growing hatred for you
Not once have you ever thought enough of me to make me happy, never once have you wiped the tear
Never once have you comforted me or saved me when I was being strangled by fear
But I held you up when everything else around you was going wrong,
I made your problems my problems, evidence of me being unnecessarily strong
What can you say? What can you do? What’s done is done, and all this time you’ve only thought about you
Did you ever ask me how I sleep at night and wake up till trying to push through?
It’ll never happen, I have to acknowledge that you’re just regular, you’ve always been worldly too
it’s never gonna happen
it could be me
it should be me
you were mine for a second
and gone to me forever
leaving me like blood from the hand
and entwining me in the hearts limbo
hollowing me like a void of emptiness
made deeper
with thoughts of loving you forever
deeper than the ocean of tears
drowning me endlessly
i remember when you
said it could hurt a little
and I’d love it a lot
but the reverse was irreversible
and now we meet at the end
an eternity of love and rejection
with no end in sight
